Help for Parents & Families

What to Do If Your Child Is Being Bullied

Finding out your child is being bullied is one of the hardest moments in parenting. The fear, the anger, the not knowing what to do — this is completely understandable. You are in the right place. With the right support, most children come through this. And your relationship with them is the most powerful thing you have.

How to help your child recover from bullying

Coming through bullying isn’t about pretending it didn’t happen or learning not to care. It’s about rebuilding a sense of belonging — helping your child find their people, reconnect with their strengths, and remember who they are beyond this experience. That might mean rebuilding friendships, finding new after school activities, or simply rediscovering what they love. Your job is to hold the faith that there is a better future for them and that they will find their way there.

Frequently Asked Questions

Not all unkindness is bullying. Conflict between children — disagreements, fallings-out, social friction — can land painfully but it’s a normal part of growing up. Bullying is different: it’s repeated aggression, it’s intentional, and it involves a power imbalance. The child on the receiving end feels unable to make it stop. If your child is caught up in a falling-out with a friend, that matters and deserves your attention but the approach is different from responding to sustained targeting.

Before you do anything, give your child a chance to tell you their story fully. Ask them how they want you to handle it. Jumping straight to the school — even with the best intentions — can feel to your child like you’ve taken over something that’s theirs to manage, and can sometimes make things harder socially. That said, if the bullying is serious, sustained, or involves anything physical or online that has been shared widely, the school needs to know. They are your ally in this — and a good school will take it seriously.

Start by listening and reassuring them that they are not in trouble and that you will work on this together. Then screenshot and document everything before reporting, since content can disappear quickly. Report to the platform. If the content involves threats, images shared without consent, or anything that rises to the level of harassment, it should also be reported to the school and, where necessary, to the police. The most important thing is that your child knows they can come to you — and that coming to you makes things better, not worse.

This is more common than most parents realise, and it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Keep the door open without pressure — “I’m here whenever you want to talk” is enough. In the meantime, look for other trusted adults in their life: a teacher they respect, a family friend, a coach. Sometimes children find it easier to open up to someone who isn’t their parent. That’s not a rejection of you. It’s them finding a way through.

This is one of the hardest things a parent can face — and one of the most important. Children who bully others are usually struggling themselves: with belonging, with power, with what they’ve learned about how to get respect. Responding with shame or punishment rarely changes behaviour. Start by asking questions rather than making accusations. Help them understand the impact of what they’ve done. And look at what might be driving it — what’s happening in their social world that they’re trying to manage this way?

The instinct to step in and make it stop is completely natural. But the most protective thing you can do for your child is build a relationship strong enough that they keep coming to you. That means responding without overreacting, listening without interrogating, and acting with them rather than for them wherever possible. You are not helpless — hold the outlook that problems can be solved and they will begin to take that view too.

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